Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
