I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dicks are not precious.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
