You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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