Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
