remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
