Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
