why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
