I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
