I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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