whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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