She said her name was "party"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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