he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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