I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
