Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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