Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
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