dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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