Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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