Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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