Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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