It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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