Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
