Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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