Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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