But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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