"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
