I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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