its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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