If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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