Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
