Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
