MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
