I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
