Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
