Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
