I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
