so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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