Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
