remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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