I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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