jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
