One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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