I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
