How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
