Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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