My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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