OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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