Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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