youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
