i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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