I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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