It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
