I want to make a zoo with you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to align my fucking chakras
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
