He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
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They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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