There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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