Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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