i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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